You forgot about the words you said.

I guess I really am having a hard time dealing with all of this. I just don't get it. I didn't do anything, I mean I don't think I did. I feel like they are mad at me, and I sit here in tears wondering what I did and how can I fix this. But yet they don't even talk to me or anything. Ugh, like they do but it seems shorter then usual, and it feels like things are changing. There is only one time I actually take off my make up, and that is when I know I am going to cry. Oh look, I took off my make up. My eyes are burning, my stomach is hurting and my head is aching. I feel like crap. And all I want to do is just cry and cry. Because maybe it will make me feel better. I've promised not only myself but others I would stop doing all my old habits. I wish they would just realize it's them. Because I am not going to be able to tell them. It just wouldn't be good. I already know that. Since it has happened before. Not even 7 minutes since I started to type this, and I am already crying. The last thing I ate made me sick, I want to throw up. Wow, I don't know anymore. I really don't. All I know is that tomorrow I am going to try and try my hardest to fix everything and maybe even tell them the truth. Maybe that will be the best, just explain how I feel. Ugh i don't know.