Here's to you.

I could say a billion things about you.

But here's three to sum it all up.

I love you.

did you know?

Because I sure didn't. One second your friends tell you to do something. Then when you do it, they ignore you like you're nothing. And completely ditch you, for someone else! I just fucking love this feeling, ya know? I mean I am worthless. I guess I am just invisible. I can't help anyone. I really can't do anything, can I? Ugh! All of this is driving me seriously crazy. I just want to be happy. I really hate going to bed crying, every single night. I hate this feeling. I hate everything. Obviously you don't care about how I feel, do you?

You forgot about the words you said.

I guess I really am having a hard time dealing with all of this. I just don't get it. I didn't do anything, I mean I don't think I did. I feel like they are mad at me, and I sit here in tears wondering what I did and how can I fix this. But yet they don't even talk to me or anything. Ugh, like they do but it seems shorter then usual, and it feels like things are changing. There is only one time I actually take off my make up, and that is when I know I am going to cry. Oh look, I took off my make up. My eyes are burning, my stomach is hurting and my head is aching. I feel like crap. And all I want to do is just cry and cry. Because maybe it will make me feel better. I've promised not only myself but others I would stop doing all my old habits. I wish they would just realize it's them. Because I am not going to be able to tell them. It just wouldn't be good. I already know that. Since it has happened before. Not even 7 minutes since I started to type this, and I am already crying. The last thing I ate made me sick, I want to throw up. Wow, I don't know anymore. I really don't. All I know is that tomorrow I am going to try and try my hardest to fix everything and maybe even tell them the truth. Maybe that will be the best, just explain how I feel. Ugh i don't know. 

Eh.

So, I am watching the corpse bride with Yeliz right now. I hope this helps my mood get better.

But today has been an up and down day.

Somethings were good, some were bad. Everything else horrible.

School, couldn't of sucked anymore, I hate how I am failing so many of my classes. All of my friends seem to think they are better than everyone else, especially me. I think it is absolutely retarded. They treat me like shit, the only good thing they said was I would make it if I tried out for cheerleading. I cheered for 8 years straight. Was amazing at it, know I can't stand it. And I don't plan on trying out, even though I know I would make it. Anyway then Im in the car, and my mom tells me my aunt is blaming me for taking her laptop charger. Which is total fucking bull shit. Ugh, so my mom had people over, and I come home and find my laptop, dead. And my aunts laptop charging. I yell, then I unplug her laptop, and throw it on her bed. Slam her door and scream again. Stomp down the stairs with my laptop and charger and just become the biggest bitch to everyone. Then I have to go out with my mom, and we are looking at catering halls for my sweet 16. Then we go to the mall, and it was okay. I had to eat, I wasn't hungry. I got cotton candy too! But I did get my Bamboozle tickets. Finally! So I am defiantly going. YAY! Then me and my mom come home, and I start to realize a lot of things all at once. I feel like I am losing two people, and I doubt they notice it. Ugh. I really don't know how to take this anymore. I can't stand feeling like I am being lied to all the time. Then my mom's work bag was stolen. It contained her haircutting scissors, blow dryer, planner with all her credit card passwords and stuff. And she got into a bad mood, which got me into a bad mood. So now I do feel like total shit. The movie is kinda helping. I wish something else would though. Idunno what I expect anymore. It seems like everyone is just replacing me. So yea, I really can't understand it. Like did I do something wrong? Like it would of been nice if I was told. Ya know? Because I hate this, when everyone knows how I feel.

osup!

So this is my first post O_O!

And I actually like this >___>

I thought I wasn't.

OH YEAH, I bet some of you are gunna laugh at the link >:O

Blah, I am like tired, and my head hurts. 

Today was like no weird... but tiring and not usual.

So I guess it was okay O_O I guess. LOL

It hasn't gotten like horrible yet!

Goood thing :D 

/ends